Paranoia

Paranoia is a not infrequent symptom of bipolar disorder.  I personally hadn’t felt like I suffered from it in the past.  After reading a couple other blogs and catching myself reacting in a very unhealthy way at work, I think I might have been wrong.  Thankfully it was in my head and I had not acted on my thought…yet.

I have a lot of anxiety as regards my job and the possibility of losing said job.  Right now things at work are horribly stressful due to the end of the year and several other changes the company is going through.  I was sitting there working when I looked over at my coworker, F, and a new manager-type person we have, P.  I saw the two of them speaking and immediately began thinking about how worthless I am at my job, they must think I am worthless, and they must be working on figuring how to get rid of me.  Mind you, this was a day or so after I had received some constructive criticism from P [that I asked for].  My mind went into this entire spiral of negative and paranoid thinking, though.  I have been working very hard and I keep telling myself that.

I do have an appointment on Monday with the psych, so I will talk to him then.  Since I am still living in a pretty depressed state, I will be talking to him about that.  I also need to see my regular doctor since it appears that my situational asthma/reactive airway disease has decided to be absolutely horrid this year.  We shall have to see what occurs, right?

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~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on December 21, 2013.

2 Responses to “Paranoia”

  1. I had a similar situation last year, only it really spiraled out of control. I’m glad you caught yourself early… talking to your doc seems like a good idea. Be aware 🙂 I hope things get better!

    • My doc had some interesting insight for me to take to therapy next week. He said I was too aware to be paranoid. He also told me to have my therapist look at it as anxiety and PTSD.

      Sorry your situation got that far.

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