Bad Blogger!

Okay, it’s been almost a month since I last blogged.  If it makes you feel any better, my email and Facebook are nearly as neglected.  I need to get used to using the app on my phone to post little updates at least.

Right now, work is crazy.  And it’s about to get crazier.  So the transfer is complete.  I did get a raise, although it looks bigger than it really is.  It amounts to $.55.  [By no means am I complaining since that’s more than I asked for.]  The work I am doing is interesting and changes constantly.  As well, when this all started, it was supposed to have one part-time person, me at full-time, and the supervisor to assist.  Well, the part-time person has been pulled away.  Now it’s down to the supervisor and I.  I am still trying to figure out how to work with her since our working styles are drastically different.  The funny thing is she wants me to work a certain way (that goes against the grain).  I have been trying, but it doesn’t actually work with the way she works.  sighs

The one thing I finally learned working with F(I think, I cannot remember this early), is that it does me no good to fight the way someone else works.  What I need to do is figure out how I can work around that person and still allow both of us to accomplish our jobs.  Sadly, others are not going to do the same for me.  Since I am going to have so much responsibility, though, I need to figure out how to work with her.

Interestingly enough, I got a call yesterday about a job offer.  It was a great position which would actually have a supervisory role.  After setting up the interview for today, I got the news about the change in staff.  I thought long and hard about it because there is a small bit of me that says, “Leave them in the lurch.  They have never gone out of their way to work with you.”  But…most of me says, “It’s unprofessional.  How are you going to show them you can do well under pressure if you change jobs when they need you most?  Do you really want to leave a company that has treated you well with such a bad impression?”

After a lot of thought, today I called and cancelled the interview.  As well, I emailed the person that I spoke with yesterday to set up the interview.  I told them I wasn’t comfortable at this time leaving my current position due to news I received.  I also told them I didn’t want to waste their time and I hoped it wouldn’t deter them from seeing me as a candidate in the future.  The gentleman I was supposed to interview with was very nice about it and didn’t seem annoyed or bothered.  He actually seemed appreciative of the call.  I am sure they get people that just don’t show up for an interview periodically.  It might have been nice for him to get some notice, at least.

So that’s the job front.

On the personal front: I am doing pretty good.  Not getting out with H nearly as often, but I do understand why.  S and I have gotten to see each other several times and last Sunday was a whole day adventure.  J and I talk on the phone and text frequently and are trying to figure out how to work in a visit.  I do have tickets to go see my mom and brother in June.  I am really looking forward to that.  I have seen my dad a few times in the last couple months, and that was nice.  Oh!  I also have plans for a barbeque on Sunday with friends.  Female friends!  I know, shocking!  I am looking forward to that.

On the physical front:  I may or may not have talked about my severe face pain/headache/migraine things (I probably did, I’m a whiner sometimes).  Well through three trips to the ER, a brain MRI, and two trips to the neurologist, I have been referred to a dentist and put on nightly muscle relaxants.  They think they might be triggered by TMJ syndrome.  Yay.  Well, actually I am happy in that the muscle relaxants seem to be working and I am sleeping great.  I am also adjusting to their sedative qualities decently and not drowsy all day.  Getting an appointment with the dentist has been a bit of an ordeal, but I am working on it.  I am going to go in for a check-up first to see how the treat me before I just start throwing TMJ around.  I know going in that I have some specific issues with my teeth.  If they start throwing a bunch of other stuff around, though…I might have to get a 2nd opinion before trusting them with the whole TMJ issue.  I have a DHMO and the doctors to choose from seem to be…lacking.  Most of them are with Castle Dental (I wouldn’t go there unless I was in so much pain…).  Obviously, this one is not, but their reviews seem to go from wonderful to horrible and nothing in between.  I know reviews tend to go that way, but this seems to be pretty extreme.  Oh, and my head seems to be just fine with my bipolar.  I have to keep an eye on things more than normal because the headache medicine can mess up my lithium levels.  Luckily, with the muscle relaxant working now, I’ve only had to take a few headache pills.  🙂

So that’s the current update.  I’ll try to write something with real though over the weekend.

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~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on April 5, 2013.

5 Responses to “Bad Blogger!”

  1. TAOTBM,
    Just saying hi. It’s been awhile and I do hope all is well…
    Le Clown

  2. I don’t hold by your premise. There are no “good” or “bad” bloggers. It’s when that kind of guilt comes in that the fun goes out of it. What strikes me about this post–given my ‘haven’t-worked-in-months’ status and a post I just did about the difficulties BD people have returning to work–is that. . .you work. And that is quite an accomplishment, given BD and your facial pain. A lot to be proud of, whether you blog once a week, or once in a blue moon.

    • You know, I read your blog faithfully. I remember the post you are speaking of. I also talked to my psychiatrist about it although I am not sure I got my point across. It makes so much sense to me, though. I was diagnosed with BD when I was in college (21). Within 2.5 years, I had dropped out with only 10 credits to go because I couldn’t focus and my thoughts didn’t have the orderliness they had before. I also had severe attendance issues.

      Now I work in logistics, although my job is not that difficult in my eyes. [I am told by others that the jobs I have done over the last several years are hard and that seems born out by the trainee failure and staff burnout rates.] I went from studying genetics to blue-collar paper-shuffling. Although some might think my current job to be thought-intensive, I don’t.

      So now that I might be coming out of the depression that has held me in its grip for the last several months, I have to wonder how my thought processes and ability to think on different levels have changed over the years. And I wonder if the difference in function is why I cannot write (for the most part) when I am in the grip of that depression.

      Thank you for this reply as it has made me think about blogging again.

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