Stressing out and it’s making me crazy.

Literally.  I’m dealing with a heavier work load, EOQ, upcoming work changes, dating (good stress, but still stress), one of my best friends coming to town next week (again, good stress), and being blind-sided in some ways by certain things from my past.  When my stress level is so high, I swing back and forth between eating too much and not eating at all.  And it’s more common for me to miss meals.  Since I generally only make sure to eat twice a day so I can take my meds with food, missing meals causes me difficulties with my medication regimen.

My frustration level is through the roof because the first symptom of my bipolar is often agitation.  I go from complaining about things in my life every once in a while to bitching constantly.  I hear myself doing it and try so hard to stop.  Luckily I have great friends who will listen and tell me when to STFU.  Hopefully more politely, but sometimes I need a kick in the ass.

Now, to this mix of anxiety and bipolar instability, let’s add hormones.  Really?

Who in the cosmos did I piss off, and how did I piss them off this much?

I do see my therapist in August and may have to see her for a bit more after that.  Because of changes I am making in my life, there are things from my past coming back to bite me on the ass.  I thought I had dealt with them, but in new situations, I am finding out differently.  The funny thing is, I have no problems talking about the past, it’s only when I start thinking about my current responses to certain people, things, and situations that I realize I might be able to talk about it, but I have feelings and reactions that are still bound up in my past.

So I am a little unsteady right now and hoping that things re-stabilize soon.  I do have a blood test Monday for my lithium level, so we shall see how that ends up.

 

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~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on July 21, 2012.

5 Responses to “Stressing out and it’s making me crazy.”

  1. sorry to hear about your stress level rising. dealing with stress on a continuos level no matter what is causing it, it’s still stress. goodluck on your blood test. bipolar does mix up your life even when good things are happening. that doesn’t seem to matter. hang in there.

  2. All I can offer is hugs through the webwaves. I hope it gets better for you soon, as a fellow stresshead, you have my sympathies 🙂

    -JC

  3. Thanks for checking out my blog….and it’s so really nice to read yours. Gosh, it’s refreshing to hear someone say something that rings honestly true and something I totally “get”. I guess misery really does love company, ‘eh? lol Just kidding. There’s a comfort in knowing that someone understands exactly how I feel. Thanks for a great post and a great read. I’m really looking forward to reading more! Be well, my new friend! xoJulia

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