Friendship, love, and compatability

Okay, so I told y’all the website I am using is called OKCupid (hereafter OKC).  One of the pretty cool aspects of the website is that they don’t just show how well you match with someone, they also show your compatability as friends or your chances of being enemies.  Interestingly, my two male best friends are very high in compatability with me.  And the guy I met this weekend falls right between them percentage wise.  So, if nothing else, I think he’ll make one hell of a good friend like my others. 

But it does bring into question how different romantic love and deep friendship are for me.  Let me say now that everything past this point are my thoughts and feelings about love and how I see it and my brain interprets it.  I do not expect others to agree.

I have always said that, although I have loved in the past, I have never been “in love”.  Now I have to wonder.  Maybe what I call love really is being in love.  Maybe this desire to spend time, do things, share everything, help, and make the other understand what a great person he/she is is exactly what others mean when they “fall in love”.  I don’t know.

For me, this level of comfort, friendship, and love is what leads to a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.  Granted, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a full-time realtionship with someone.  And they have never lasted more than 6 months.  But my question then becomes whether that was a true relationship or an affair.  I think that when I focus on mental and emotional aspects of the relationships I have had, the reasons these relationships don’t last is because those aspects of the relationship were neglected or lacking. 

Because I spend so much time “in my head” in different ways, it makes so much sense to me that seducing my mind and heart work far better than seducing my body. 

And what are the best friendships but an affair between the minds and hearts of two people?

So maybe it’s time for me to love the people in my life and stop classifying “how” I love them.


~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on July 18, 2012.

2 Responses to “Friendship, love, and compatability”

  1. Sounds like a good definition of love to me.

  2. I just want you to find someone who will make you feel absolutely loved. I am no expert at all about falling in love. But it has been my experience, that the ones that I have “fell” in love with were the ones who caused me pain. I think it all depends on a persons ability to identify someone who can be trusted to put you first.

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