Freaking out…probably more than I should, but…

Okay, this is going to be one of those stupid posts that many of you are going to read and say, “She’s an idiot.”  Eh, please remember the good posts that came before this.  😉

So there’s a bunch of office shuffling going on at my work.  The cubicles my department sits in used to be pretty much surrounded by empty cubes.  That isn’t true any more.  I don’t have a real problem with it, although for the first part of my shift, there are way more people here than I am used to.  But I am second shift, so it’s not exactly tragic.  And today, one of the departments fed 2nd shift.  That’s all too cool since most people forget we even exist.  So in general, the new people are not a big problem.

I’ve even met a few and they are okay.  I am okay as long as I keep my work face on.  Last week, I talked to this guy in the break room.  He wasn’t someone I had spoken with before, but he was really nice.  Cute, too.  [I know, I am such a girl.]  I knew he was working 2nd shift for a few weeks, but had no idea where he was sitting or anything.  When I came in today, I saw him at one of the cubicles that was being moved into.  Not a problem, right.  The building is huge.  He could have been anywhere…

Yeah.  His cubicle is directly across from my department.  WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot!  Seriously.

So I have no idea how to act, although he was really sweet about waving to me when I was over near his cubicle using the printer.  But now I am all kinds of confused and embarrassed.  You see, my coworkers and I are not necessarily horribly professional when working.  Dude, isn’t that why they hide us on 2nd?  So we tend to talk over the cubes (sides aren’t horribly tall) about all sorts of things that are not work.  *sighs*  I also have to wonder how long he’s been sitting there that I might not have noticed. 

Last week after talking to him for over 10 minutes, I was talking to my coworkers about whether he was just being nice or flirting.  Yeah.  So picture me a little red-faced now that he’s sitting right there.  Then, earlier tonight, one of my coworkers showed a pic and we were talking about the nastiness of the female pictured.  One of my coworkers mentioned that there were men that would find the woman attractive.  I told her that couldn’t be true, no one I knew would feel that way.  She just told me that there were desperate men out there.  So I said no on I know.  And her response was, “Then you don’t know any deperate men.”  Of course, without thinking, I shot off, “No, that’s why I’m single!” 

Yes, I really said that where he could hear.

So now, is he thinking, “Glad I was only being nice to her,” or “If she thinks that a man has to be deparate to date her, what’s wrong with her?” or “Huh.  I was flirting with her, does that make me deperate?  And if so, can I do better than her?” So I am in full freak-out mode.  [BTW, any of the male readers that have actually read this far, feel free to chime in on how you might feel in the same situation.]

So I was already a little stirred up because of the possible flirting/being nice thing.  Now I don’t know how to act at all!  Should I just be the slightly disturbed, self-conscious, shy to too outgoing me? But, I don’t want to lie to someone and mislead them.  That’s neither nice nor fair.  I think I have figured out why I have been single for so very long.  *sigh*

Of course, then comes the whole, I don’t even know I am really interested, or if he is either.  And I’m not sure how to flirt or figure out whether he is flirting (hence the whole asking my coworkers thing).

OKAY!  Is fate trying to kill me through embarrassment?  As I am sitting here typing this (yes, I am on lunch), he walks up and has a seat.  No, I could not make this shit up.  So we talk for like 15-20 minutes?  And he tells me about himself…So that was flirting.  I am pretty sure him coming over and sitting at my desk to talk to me and not talking to my coworkers was flirting.  Of course, my Chinese food was all over the desk, and I was typing this, so I had to close the screen.  I am sure that was pretty obvious. 

So he goes back to his desk, but then goes on to another floor.  So my coworkers are all, who’s that…and why is he talking to you…And I am blushing and they are killing me with questions.

So at this point, definitely freaking out!  See, guys, girls aren’t necessarily good at this, either.

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~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on March 30, 2012.

8 Responses to “Freaking out…probably more than I should, but…”

  1. I do have to say I enjoyed reading this a lot haha. Anyhow, here’s my take on it, forgive me if I interpreted it differently.

    It appears you have caught the attention of this cute guy at work. It all seems to be working well too since you seem to like him a lot and the same on his end since he’s coming over just to talk to you, he could be being nice, but why only to you?

    I say, be yourself and don’t worry too much about all the minute details, what you said, how to act and such. Guys are surprisingly simple (most of them anyway lol) in that they don’t usually notice as much or fast, there’s a chance he didn’t even realize or remember when you said that out loud.

    I say keep talking to him, see what he’s like, then see what happens. As for the coworkers, perhaps they will understand that you have caught the attention of that guy and that is why he talks to you, nothing else so far…at least not yet.

    -JL

  2. You are freaking out because you are attracted to him and you feel that something is becoming of this. No big deal. It’s a girl thing. Just be your nice, sweet girly self act a touch shy and otherwise be yourself when you are with your co-workers. It will make him more interested if he can see you from afar just being you.

    • I can do shy! I can so definitely do shy! As for being myself, I am working on it. I am glad this came now instead of a month or more ago since I was a lot less stable then. When I am hypomanic, I tend to make very bad decisions in this realm.

      And you are right, I am being such a girl. lol

      Thank you for caring.

  3. I see it as a wake up call to all of the second shift for your group. /Conversations will have to be more considerate and it might even bring a more fun atmosphere.
    As for the new guy just be nice and he will decide how he will handle himself which will let you know what kind of person he is. Just treat him with the kindness and all that you have.
    HUGS

    • Second shift are actually really cool coworkers, it’s first I have issues with. We just get a little rowdy on second since no managers are there. Unless we are busy. Then we all put our noses to the grindstone to get our work done. It gets a lot quieter then. 😀

      The guy (we’ll call him W) seems really nice. When I talked to him last night he was very happy about getting a new contract. The funny/cool thing is that he will have worked for the contracting company for 2 years in May and I will have worked for the contracted company for 1 year in May. 🙂 If nothing else, it would be nice to actually have another friend here in town.

  4. TAOTBM,
    I’m never wrong about these things.
    He thinks you’re cute. And I foresee you being a mother soon.
    Le Clown

    • Clown, I’ll take the cute and leave the motherhood to your wife. 😉 I am sure she is much better at it than I would be. Of course, y’all have Lord Evil Poppy and the Whispering Petunia to contend with. So all kudos to you and the others who go that route, but it terrifies me. 😉

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