Okay…Okay…Okay…Gonna pass out…

So today has been a little odd.  Not odd bad, just odd. 

Mostly today has been pretty good.  Although I am not happy, per se, I am pretty content with where I am right now.  Apparently the doc was right about the lithium leveling off that anger.  Although I still get irritated and frustrated, it is at a much more reasonable level.  I talked to my therapist today.  We discussed that intense, uncolled (uncontrollable) anger is dangerous.  I talked about my history of anger and ANGER.  I also told her that (to me) it almost seemed like a PTSD reaction when I get ANGRY.  I generally shut down completely.  I know all of you saw me writing about ANGER, but, as far as I know, no one at work knew I was having that much of an issue.  I did isolate for protection, and attempted to shut down emotionally.  So I wonder…could feeling ANGER myself actually trigger an episode of PTSD?  I didn’t ask that specific question.  We did talk about healthy anger that I need to let out before it becomes ANGER.  She told me that she thought I handled the episode well, though.  Yay me!

Oh!  I also got good news (maybe) about work.  I talked to boss G last night about an issue that was going on.  In the course of our conversation, he told me that he thought I was doing a really good job.  He also told me that M and F might be going away!  Apparently (according to boss G) they are unhappy with their jobs.  I can ony think that their unhappiness made its way to the wroooong person.  I don’t know if this is actually going to happen.  I do know that he sent an email today about a particular issue and told the two of them that I need to be trained on it.  😀  So there’s a kernal of hope there.

So I got to work and started my shift with plenty of work.  [For those who are curious, I am on my lunch.  Or don’t have anything to do.  😉 ]  Yet again, the emails I deal with were moved out of the shared inbox, but not entered into the correct databases.  F did not give them to me until she left between 6 and 7.  And M left me a stack of stuff to do as well.  But I can handle that.  I really don’t mind when I am busy.  The only time it bothers me is when they tell me that I need to do things a certain way or ask me why things weren’t done.  I send an email at the end of my shift to let them know what I have and have not accomplished.  Since that is pretty standard from them, I am actualy able to focus and get my stuff accomplished.

All of that is pretty good or pretty normal.  So what made the day odd?  Other that just having a content day?  Well, Just before I went to lunch about an hour ago, I got super tired.  As in pass out on my keyboard tired.  Seems awfully random to me.  I have been awake all day and not been sleepy.  It just hit me out of the blue.  So that was odd.

So here we go for the odd points: 1. Therapist told me I had handled the situation with my anger well.  It’s not the first time she has told me I did well.  It’s not even the first time in this session that she told me that.  [She said good plan for the rash and other side-effects.]  It still surprises me when people tell me I do something well.  2. Getting exhausted out of the blue.  It just seems odd to me.  3.  And I forgot to list this one earlier.  My Mom called me when she said she would.  Mostly this is odd only for the last few months.  I was very glad to talk to her and we will be talking again tomorrow.

Overall, though…doing okay.  🙂


~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on March 20, 2012.

8 Responses to “Okay…Okay…Okay…Gonna pass out…”

  1. Haha! First! Glad you had a pretty good day overall.

  2. It is so good to see that things are looking positive once again. I am glad hug!

    • Thanks, hun. It makes me pretty happy since I don’t feel that I am Great! That is why I think it might just be leveling versus hypomania. I still get irritated and stuff, but my emotions are not overwhelming. I am having them, though. 🙂 No zombie here.

      • well I must glad that your feeling better. I was just having the most wonderful nap finally. But then my dog started nudging me to go out to potty. I was like ” I had Finally gotten into a good sleep” Oh well. I’ll try again later lol

  3. OK is definitely better than the alternatives! Hope it keeps going well.

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