Promises and lies

Okay, I have been saying since Friday that I was going to write my informational post as soon as I was feeling better.  Although I am feeling better, I am still not completely up to snuff and I am medicated fairly heavily for at least one more day.

Sooooo…to keep my promise, but also make it something I can actually accomplish, I will be posting 2 informational posts.  They will be on either Thursday and Friday, or both on Friday but separate.  I think that is the best way to do it to make sure I am coherent in the post and also keep my promise.  I have a real issue with people keeping promises, so I don’t want to forget about it.

Almost everyone I know has issues with promises.  I used to wonder why, but I was told something one day that made it all make more sense.  Humans are made to lie.  Sociologically and genetically, it is built in for people to lie to one another.

Genetically, the primary instinct of all creatures is propagation of the species.  [Everything after this is generalized and will not apply to every person.]  In pursuit of that, women seek security and a strong partner that can provide for their children.  They can (and will) lie in that pursuit.  Whether we are talking hair dye, make-up, liposuction, plastic surgery, cheating, whether they already have children, or whether they are on birth control, women lie in some fashion.  Now men, on the other hand, tend to want to spread their genes far and wide.  Their lies tend to be more obvious at times: I love you, I will leave my wife for you,  you’re perfect/gorgeous/wonderful, I’ll call you, we don’t need to worry about condoms, etc.  Although they have more subtle ones as well, like the amount of money they make, the great job they have, plastic surgery, liposuction, hair dye, their age, et al.  By the way, I am not saying that these actions or statements are always lies.  I am saying these are some area that people may lie about in responses to a genetic imperative to mate and create offspring.

As for sociologically, humans would not be able to live in groups without the ability to lie to each other.  We have all run into that person that you just cannot get along with.  We act civilly to them to keep the peace, but that is a form of lying.  I mean, running around telling these people they are complete idiots and if they would just walk against the light in front of you, you could fix that issue would be a bad thing.  So we lie.  Even the people we like get lied to.  When your cousin, friend, sister, brother, or coworker start going on and on about their husband, child, promotion, pregnancy, sport they like, brand new car, etc. until you want to strangle them, you don’t.  Instead you tell them how nice/interesting/wonderful it all is and make up an excuse to get away.  And the truth is, we want and need to be lied to.  We don’t want to know that we are any of the people I listed above, or any of the annoying people I didn’t list.  So we believe the lies we are told because it makes us feel better about ourselves.

Why else do you think children need to be taught not to lie?

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~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on February 26, 2012.

4 Responses to “Promises and lies”

  1. Have you seen The Invention of Lying? Fantastic movie. We will be watching while I’m there if you haven’t. Great post.

  2. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling poorly and I hope you’re feeling better soon. And fascinating post – definitely given me lots to think about!

    • Thanks! The info about lying comes from various sources, but the genetic stuff was really interesting when I took classes. By no means does it mean that people feel or act this way consciously, either. But it is interesting.

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