Broken

Broken

When I tell truth,
You tell me I am mad.
I am mad,
And mad.
You sit in judgment
From your throne
Never knowing
Never caring.
It slices!
It dices!
It purees my soul.
Your opinion is cold
As water running from a glacier.
What are the consequences
Of your notions
Of Normal?
Who does it hurt?
You tell me I am broken.
Am I?

Or are you?

So many people in our lives tell us in either word or deed that we are broken in their eyes, whether doctors, therapists, friends, family, or strangers.  And we all know that our own mirrors are broken in some way.  But does that mean that we are?  Or is our vision clouded and dimmed by judgement?  Whether that judgement comes from others or ourselves, it is painful and hard to get past.  Maybe we need to stop others from bullying us into their idea of “normal”.  And maybe we should stop bullying ourselves at the same time.  Here’s to hoping that the pain and the punishment come to an end in the not-too-distant future.

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~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on January 25, 2012.

10 Responses to “Broken”

  1. agree on every level! the soft sciences are just out to make a buck. i want to change that, one day. xxx

    • I do agree that there are some people in therapy and psychiatry that are crooks and only out to make a buck (my last psychiatrist being a prime example). But I also have to say that there are some counselors, social workers, and therapists who truly care. They have a desire to listen to you and help you verbalize and understand your own feelings and thought processes. I would not be where I am today without some very good therapists along the way.

      But the good therapists, social workers, and psychiatrists are hard to find. Be very careful who you trust with your “self”.

  2. While I *am* getting my degree to be a therapist I do agree with you. But as you often tell me, I’m one of the rare people that want to be a therapist that might actually get it.

    And yeah, I’m not offended. I know that there are horrible people out there that think that they can help people when they are barely able to care for themselves.

    • Hey, you are the one that wanted me to file a complaint with the state board about my last psychiatrist. I know that you have every desire to help people and are aware of those groups you would not be comfortable with. Unlike some people in the profession of helping others, you know where you are weak or unsuitable to treat someone. I always wonder when I am looking up therapists that have a whole laundry list of the type of people/traumas/situations they treat, what can they really help with?

  3. i like the idea of giving yourself a break from the stigma and judgment we face daily. And the idea of who defines normal? In treatment when a therapist seemed wacked I would say “Some of us carry the labels and some of us carry the keys.” Often those in the position of power over those of us labeled are just as wounded or as you say broken.

    • I completely agree! Whether the person in power is family, doctors, or therapists, they often have their own issues that interfere in the way the see and comprehend what we are doing or saying.

      • I think I was blessed by being born to a Psychiatrist and getting an illness that he did not choose to treat. He liked the ADD folks better than those of us who have to take the heavy duty stuff. So knowing and loving him and his humanity probably made me a difficult patient as I never raised my Dr’s to the level of God that they are used to from other patients.

        And coming from a family so well versed in mental health I experienced the limitations of good intentions and powerlessness that those in power over us feel even when educated on the subject. So if we did not do it “perfectly” how much harder for the families of other sufferers who do not have that education.

      • Very well said!

  4. That is one beautiful poem. Interestingly, I use the word broken to describe myself. My therapist (psychotherapist to give her her correct title) doesn’t like that word and doesn’t use it. Sometimes though it is hard to remember that normal is a range and, even then, there will always be outliers because there are always outliers. And there is nothing wrong with being an outlier.

    Plus, what isn’t one person’s normal is for another. Sometimes it’s all a matter of perception. *hugs*

    • Thank you for the compliment! Normal is definitely a matter of opinion and perception. We also have to remember not to judge ourselves as much as we protect ourselves from other’s judgments.

      My favorite quote about normality is, “Normal is a setting on the washing machine.”

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