No sleep for you!

It was pointed out to me that the fact that I was up all night, started this blog, wrote long posts on G+, wrote, and came up with a ton of new story ideas might just mean I am a little hypomanic.  Lately my mood swings have been difficult to figure out.  I am thinking this is because my illness has not been controlled for so very long.

My new doctor seems to really listen to me.  He is the first one to tell me that just because I am functional at work, doesn’t mean my disorder is under control at all.  This doctor is also the first one to ask me about supplements that I take and why.  He told me how one of my medications depletes a specific chemical that is absolutely necessary for these medications to work.  That might have been nice to know at some point in the almost six years I have been off and on this drug.

When I was in college, my episodes were much closer to mania and easier for me to see and comprehend.  Now, I find it hard to say if my financial situation is due to laziness or my illness.   Trust me, I know I can be pretty darn lazy, but.  I had a much better handle on things dealing with money a year ago.  I might have still been spending recklessly, but not to the point that I risked not having rent.

Hopefully, I can get slightly more functional so I can get a second job because, at this point, it is imperative.

Having hospitalized myself in October, though, I can feel myself losing hope that this will ever change.

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~ by theartistryofthebipolarbrain on January 14, 2012.

3 Responses to “No sleep for you!”

  1. Have you considered the possibility of having someone that you trust have control of your money until you are better able to work within a specified budget?

    I know that being bipolar isn’t about just learning how to control money and you know I’m not one to talk since I spend a god awful lot of money on reptile stuff. But its something that jumped out at me as an idea.

    • You know, I have asked several friends too help me make a budget, but they are always too busy. I just wonder how I could do it without having to pay someone. It is a good idea, though. I need to call JSS on Monday, so maybe that would be something I could bring up with them as well. If not them, I might be able to do something through Legal Aid since I am contemplating filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy. That is the one where they restructure your debt and don’t have to sell off everything. It is on your credit report for 7 years, but considering my current credit situation, I am not sure it wouldn’t improve it a whole lot faster.

      As for not being about controlling money–well, that depends on how your bipolar manifests. For me, it is my “go to” for risky behavior. So mine really is all about trying to learn to control and understand my finances.

  2. Well, you didn’t ask me! And I’d love to help you. Oh, wait, you’re coming over for dinner. I guess the price of being fed will be… {bwah hah hah} having a budget made! 🙂

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